The toxicity of suppression

At first I wasn't very interested in the "balloon boy" story. Seemed like it must have been a very slow news day to cover that little bit of nonsense with such breathlessness. But in the past day or so, I read about the boy's reaction to telling his story to the media, namely the wretching that occurred during two interviews. I was ready to give the wacky parents the benefit of the doubt until I heard about this violent reaction. It's one I've seen before when (step)kids are asked to suppress the truth.

Asking children to collude in a lie is pretty low. For today at least, I am not the world's worst parent. Phew.

Backfilling the VT National Guard

I wonder how the families of VT Nat'l Guard troops about to deploy to Afghanistan feel about the upbeat ads running on the radio where the young recruit tells his friend "I can be a soldier and keep my job and hang out with you while protecting our community." Sure you can. More Kool Aid?

Swiss Chard Goodness

Garlicky Roasted Garbanzo Beans with Swiss Chard

(adapted from Michael Psilakis, Epicurious.com)

Makes 4-6 servings

Ingredients:

Beans:

2 15.5 oz cans garbanzo beans (chickpeas), drained

10 garlic cloves, peeled

2 large shallots, chopped

3 bay leaves (fresh recommended, but I used dried)

½ cup extra-virgin olive oil

1 tsp fennel seeds (I don’t like fennel, so I used mustard seed)

Chard:

2 T olive oil

6 garlic cloves, crushed

3 bay leaves

2 shallots, sliced

large bunch swiss chard, center stems cut out (or not – I didn’t), leaves coarsely torn

½ cup chicken or vegetable broth

pasta and parmesan cheese

Preparation

Beans: preheat oven to 350°. Combine first 5 ingredients in a glass baking dish (8x8 or similar). Sprinkle with salt and pepper, then pour oil over (original recipe called for 1 ½ cups of oil – I used A LOT less, ½ - 2/3 cup). Cover with foil and roast until garlic is tender, about 45 mins.

Chard: Heat oil in large pot over medium-high heat. Add garlic, bay leaves and shallots, cook until shallots are tender, about 2 mins. Add chard in a couple batches if necessary, allowing first batch to wilt and make room for the rest. Add broth and cook until chard is tender and most of liquid has evaporated (7-10 mins). Season with salt and pepper. Combine beans and chard, season if necessary.

Serve over pasta (or barley?) with grated parmesan cheese.

Lovely poem from Wendell Berry

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me

and I wake in the night at the least sound

in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,

I go and lie down where the wood drake

rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.

I come into the peace of wild things

who do not tax their lives with forethought

of grief. I come into the presence of still water.

And I feel above me the day-blind stars

waiting with their light. For a time

I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

Wendell Berry

Badly done, Emma

I’m a Jane Austen fan, so a few days ago when confronted with a disturbing case of classism in my circle of acquaintances, I was reminded of that scene in Emma when Mr. Knightley chides Emma for mocking a neighbor decidedly lower on England’s social ladder. Badly done, Emma. Badly done.

One of my favorite quotes about social inequality is from Ani Difranco…“privilege is a headache you don’t know that you don’t have.” So true – it takes a conscious effort for people to take stock of their privilege, but it’s an important exercise. Emma’s lesson was to make sure that any biting social commentary is aimed at those with more privilege, not at those whose lack of access to resources, or different cultural heritage, differentiates them from us. Despite the fact that my acquaintance was described as "sweet" in her defense, her choice of dressing up as a pregnant woman with a black eye for a "white trash" party leaves a bitter taste. I think sweetness is often apathy in disguise and a poor substitute for kindness. Badly done, Emma.

pesto. kalman.

So I took a little break from blogging. I did so much writing in February and March for other reasons that I didn't have any thing left. Then I needed a break... then the problem of what would be my first post, after the lengthening dry spell.

Tonight, after an insane meal of garlic scape and fresh basil pesto with insalata caprese and a glass and half of tempranillo, I'm ready to break my silence. But I have nothing in particular to say. Except do you know about Maira Kalman? And her sublime NYT blog? I'm smitten. Bought the book, and inhaled most of it in one sitting. I love the way she enlarges the world but keeps us close with disclosures of her familiar, imperfect humanity. I know I'm probably late to this dance (I'm kind of famous for my glamorous, late arrivals), but just in case others haven't been introduced to her unique genius, here you are.

In Defense of "25 Things"

Who hasn't been tagged in a friend's Facebook note, "25 Things About Me?" If you haven't, don't fret, it's unlikely you'll miss out. But wait, don't count me in the group of people disparaging this quasi-viral game of sharing tag. While I initially resisted (it felt too self aggrandizing, and the direction to tag 25 friends did feel a bit like spamming), I eventually couldn't fight the urge to see what would spring to mind. Now I'm a defender of the phenomenon. Here's why:

Self reflection is an important exercise. How many of us would have taken the time to consider what makes us who we are had we not been challenged to come up with 25 distillations of self?
In reading others' lists, I've gotten to know interesting things about people I didn't know terribly well. We get beyond favorite color and music preferences into the fears, accomplishments and oddities that fill out the somewhat two dimensional caricatures presented in Facebook profiles. A friend of mine told me that she even found out something new about one of her oldest friends from her "25 Things."

And as a result, the tentative connections between casual Facebook friends are strengthened. I've found unexpected commonalities with people I considered more acqaintences than friends, or people with whom my shared experiences are from the days of the hair bands and acid wash jeans. From the empowerment of childbirth to the fear of monsters under the bed as a child, to unrealized aspirations and deep contentment...we are connecting the dots and making the experience of cyber-friendships a bit more human.