A piece of me is missing!

Today I dropped Lily off at Camp Downer (named for its location in Downer State Forest, not for the effect it has on campers!) - a major milestone. We've been apart for five nights before, when I went on work trips or Fritz and I attended Courtney's high school graduation, but we were connected via phone, family and friends. I was actually sick to my stomach as we made the turn into the camp, a mix of my own dread at leaving my girl with strangers and a reaction to Lily's own palpable anxiety. Lily doesn't know a soul at Camp Downer - a point that was driven home for me when we discovered that half of her cabin mates are good friends who planned this adventure together. Why didn't I think of that? So I found myself playing social director, pulling Lily aside and suggesting that the friendly looking girl on the bunk adjacent to hers looked like she wanted to find a pal. I'm so worried about that queen bee and wannabee stuff...hold on, gotta go breathe in a paper bag for a minute. No, no, no. It's going to be fine. Lily is the most outgoing person I know - able to make fast friends with adults and children alike.

It was fun going back to Camp Downer - I was a camper there for four years - must have been 1980-1983. They clearly haven't done a thing to the cabins - I was tempted to visit my old haunts and check for familiar grafitti. Fritz had to work today, so the girls and I made the trek alone. Hazel wanted to stay - she would have gladly traded places with her very anxious sister. Here's a shot of Lily and Hazel in the bunk - I think their faces say it all:
And here's one of the little angel when I asked her to pretend she was happy to be there:

I promised Lily I wouldn't leave until she was comfortable, and sure enough, I was one of the last parents to leave. What a spectacle, in my tie dye shirt, digging through the minivan for a snack for my "starving" daughter. The only thing I could find - the dregs of a bag of trail mix of unknown origins - just didn't cut it next to the buffet of treats the other girls had. Tomorrow I'll put together a care package to make up for the shameful lack of snacks I brought along for her today. And on Wednesday the camp will post some pictures - I'll be eagerly awaiting some proof that my girl is doing okay.